Transcript:I'M A GIANT
:five sound :Top of the morning to you laddies, my name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to Job Simulator. Hello Jobbit, how are you doing? We're here after the end of the last episode because I wanna try out the mods immediately. Um, what do I wanna do? I wanna mess around a little bit, I wanna a big giant chef, I wanna be a giant chef, dollhouse mode and I wanna - yeah, I'll just do that for now. Oh stop it, give me this, gimme! Give me this! I wanna be - make me giant chef please, I wanna be giant Gordon Ramsay, giant Ramsay. That doesn't make any sense but whatever. Hi! :Job Bot: Hello human. :Jack: Hello. :Job Bot: This is an accurate simulation of robotic voice Gourmet Chef. :Jack: Cool. Can I voice skip you? Okay, maybe I can, that's cool. Alright, so I am gigantic and all this food is tiny. That means I can finally eat what I want. Ooh, I can take this s***. Look at me, it's on the roof sound I broke it. What am I hitting? I'm - I'm hitting the f***ing sprinkler system, okay that's not gonna work. Alright let's get down to business sings to cook some food. Hello. I'm sorry that I have to be down here everybody. :Job Bot: Bacon and eggs provide a high energy tasting ratio. :Jack: They sure do, bloop bloop. Cook those - that looks like a grossey egg. :Job Bot: unintelligible Ring the bell to send it out to the restaurant. :Jack: I do not need to listen to you anymore for I am giant dad! F*** you, piece of s***! Stupid, stupid robot man! Come 'ere, give me a smooch, mwah mwah. I am in you, I am inside you. It says A plus on your little thing, I didn't realise that before. :echoing voice Hello everybody. I am the giant man. Ding ding food's ready. footstep noises voice This is really weird, I'm actually in the restaurant now chuckles Hi, did you except me to be out here? No you f***ing didn't cos I am the best. Can I mess with anything else? I wanna mess with all the things, gimme this. Gimme this menu, I wanna see what's on the menu. Where am I right now? What am I hitting? Hmm, that's a part of my wall, okay. No it's not, I was actually hitting my PC, that's f***ing great. laughs :No one's able to get on my level. I'm always saying 'get on my level scrub', but no one's able to now I'm up here. Can I break the sprinkler? Cool what are we cooking in this? Flower, uhh mushroom and milk. That's a great blender. Oh that's a great - ooh, I wanna drink this. :Job Bot: Pour it out into a cup and then we can serve it. :Jack: Yum yum yummy, can I drink some of this? This is good for your bones - this is good - hurls It smells like death! :I know I'm not sure if I enjoy being a giant chef. I'm not sure of being a giant - no one likes me, no one - no one wants to play with me. You wanna - you wanna play? No, you don't cos I got tiny little man hands! I'm a giant man with tiny hands. I'm like a T-Rex. I'll just walk around like this from now on and destroy your life. Is this what the T-Rex feels like? It sure feels like that - oh my god, fall into the void don't - F***ING HELL! :I want to be an auto mechanic because that is the most open environment and I want bouncy mode. If I can throw things around in bouncy mode in auto mechanic's place I'm gonna be a happy camper. :Job Bot: Take a look at the board for instructions. :Jack: whee hee hee, this is way more fun. Okay I'mma get some tires, let's get some tires going laughs yes, this is hilarious! Can I - I just really wanna bounce things. Oh God I hit the button, whoops. I'm gonna let go of my controller by accident. Everyone's always like 'Jack, you're not holding the straps and it's really making me f***ing worried.' Well living the edge b****es. This isn't as bouncy as I had hoped it would be. Okay. What are you looking at, Bill? Bill, I'll f***ing kill you. I'll bill you, kill. That's - that's not what I was meant to say, Jesus. Okay. Bouncy frisbees. God almighty! :I want bananas. I want - wait where's the regular bananas? I want bouncy bananas, I don't want bouncy airfreshner bananas, I want real bananas. Real bananas! Give me those B-A-N-A-S. Stick 'im up, punk, I got potassium. Eat this! Okay there not the best shape for throwing, it's like the banana bombs in Worms. They just bounce wherever the f*** they want. That's kinda fun, I should put on low gravity mode with this and you don't - oh wait no, that didn't really work last time. I should do that - oh whoa - and maybe not be a giant. Ooh, what flavour doughnut is this? :plays Oh, I don't feel so good, Mr Stark. :You wanna see a magic trick Jobbit? You wanna see me do some real Chris Angel s***? Alright, take this David Blaine. Wow, you see that, I'm holding it in place with my mind and if I want it to move, look at that it doesn't. I'm holding it in place with my mind, you want it? Have it. There, now it's stuck to your face, I'm holding it there with my brain power, you don't have that cos you're a f***ing robot. Now watch this plane, watch it fly endlessly. And I stopped it in midair, see that? I'm a f***ing legend. Whoa - what the f***? There's a staple stuck to the roof - I didn't do that, that's just a natural, er, action of the stapler. You know when you do that it actually just sticks to the roof, on Lord. Oh no, oh no! It's outta control! I'm not doing this everybody, I'm not I swear! gunshots I'm sorry, sorry! :I - It's not me doing it, it's just that I have a spasm in my arm. :screams and gunshots :Get it out of here, f***ing hell, oh Lord. That - ohhh that calms the shakes. :Okay, er, my powers don't work on sugar apparently. It's probably cos of the crystalined structure of it, it just doesn't allow me to - my mind powers go through it rather than on to it. :But the sugar container with the sugar in it, no problem you see? I'm able to do that. Um, it might - my powers kind of extend to pushing things away though and stopping them, I'm not able to pull them back. Wait lemme try. No, it's kind of useless I'm sorry. Er, alright. Are my powers awesome? Ask again, are my powers awesome? Your'e hired, cos my powers? Okay. Should Jacksepticeye buy a pony? You're fired. Yeah that was - that was a bad - that was a bad idea. :Jack: My powers also apply to my body. Now I have made myself grow larger and further away from the ground. I - I knew nobody worked in these f***ing cubicles! You were overworking me, weren't you? I am not your slave! Take these staples. :Robot worker 1: Hey that almost hurt. :Robot worker 2: Uh my glasses! :Robot worker 3: Come on! :Jack: You guys just come out of nowhere, don't you? Howdy fraud. Okay everybody just calm down alright? Whee, whee whee. :Robot worker 2:: Who threw this? Stand up. Who did it? :Jack: Oh, you want me to stand up? It was I you ti - wait where'd he go? :Jack: Was becoming giant a great idea? You're fired, this ball doesn't know what it wants. It doesn't know what's cool. I know what's cool, because I'm the giant around here. Look at these tiny hands, look at them, I've got baby hands. Baby hands! I can do whatever I want, everything a baby can do but more giant. :Jack: I actually feel like a giant, this is really weird. I'm not sure if I like it, it's kinda giving me this weird trippy feel. Um excuse me, could I - Okay, I can't borrow that cactus. Er, Karen can I borrow your cactus? Thank you. :Robot worker: What the - :Jack: Ah ha, I knew it! Die b****, die b****! :Yes giant service. Line zero, you got it. No problem, this has been giant dad. Okay I am going to write a strongly worded love letter - no you know what, I'mma write a strongly worded haiku. Okay. Dearest Jobbit man, you make my life, you make my life a living hell. I'm taking some liberties with the haiku format here Mr Jobbit okay? What are you - get these things out of here. You're being messy. :Um, you can suck my nuts please. I'm thinking about you as I write this. :'I enjoy my work, the cubicle is my home, to live is my job.' To write haiku is to be annoyed. That is not what I wanted to write, that was not my haiku. Mine wasn't even an haiku but shut up, I'm bad at this. Gimme my staple, I want my staple. :Jobbit I got you a gift. It's teeny tiny and small like you are. Can you see it? I know it's not my hand, it's even smaller, there you go, it's a staple. It's inside you now. :Alrighty, well that does it for this episode of Job Simulator, that was actually kind of fun. I knew there was something after def - defeating - after beating all the levels there was gonna be something, I just didn't know what it was, but that was really fun. They don't really add too much to the game so, I don't know if its really worth all that but I like - I just like mods in game anyway. Um, but that does it for Job Simulator, it's all done. I have no more material left in the game to do unless I just wanna do overtime or continue playing the same missions over and over again, but it is what it is. I highly enjoyed this game, it's one of the first VR games that came out, it was one of the first ones that I played and its still one of the better ones. It's perfect for - it's perfect for showing off what VR can be. It's not so much like the most complex game, but the physics and everything in it are really cool, so if you gave it to somebody who doesn't know anything about VR it'd be a cool game for them to just get in and pick stuff up and everything I think, and I had a bunch of fun with it just d***ing around and making my own jokes with it, but they will be coming out with Vacation Simulator at some point, I dunno when that's actually coming out, er but I will play the entirety of that when its out. But for now thank you guys so much for watching this video. If you liked it, punch that like button in the face like a boss! And high fives all round, wapoosh wapoosh. But thank you guys and I'll see all you dudes in the next video! :music plays :I had to put up a blanket to stop reflections but you can see where I hit it and said laugh. Category:Job Simulator Category:Transcripts